ncjohn wrote in post #10560848
...(I have a feeling there's a basic lack of understanding of
something going on here,

and I have a feeling you folks can fix that.)
Unlikely... we can only offer advice.
DataColor offers 3 versions of the Spyder3 product, all with essentially the same hardware. But the software has different limitations of customization, depending on which version you purchased. NONE can adjust brightness or contrast for you. You have to manually adjust your monitors controls during the calibration process. Automatic adjustment of the monitor's settings is something you typically only get when you buy a high end professional grade monitor with a proprietary calibration system.
The Spyder3 Express is the least customizable version of this product and is pre-set for 6500K, 2.2 gamma. Before using it for the first time you must reset all your monitor's settings back to factory defaults. There is usually a menu item which will do that for you. If you can't find it, refer to your monitor's user manual.
You should warm up your monitor for at least 30 minutes before using the Spyder3. Perform the calibration in a dim or dark room, with absolutely no light shining on the face of the monitor. This is a HANDS OFF process. Just let the software complete and don't touch any controls.
Once the software has run, you now have a color adjusted display, but it will be too bright for photo editing. Now, lower your monitor's Brightness control to about 20%. Finally, repeat the calibration process, starting with the monitor at 20% brightness. DON'T TOUCH any other controls and give yourself at least 48 hours to get used to the new look. If you think the monitor is still too bright or too dim, adjust the Brightness only, in small increments, recalibrating after each setting change.
Let us know how it's working out.