Hard edge real filters are completely different from in-computer.
Your program is applying the filter to a 2-D data plane. The Filter on the lens is affecting a 3-D light gathering system.
At extremely wide angles, with small apertures, you might get a hard line in your image, but even at 21mm and f11, the hard edged filters have a significant transition zone.
As you increase the focal length or open up the aperture, the lens not only sees a smaller part of the filter, but it is more out of focus due to the focal plane getting smaller and farther away. By 100mm and f4, I can barely even see the edge of my Hard GNDs.
This is why a good set of GNDs will include hard and soft, and reverse, in multiple strengths. Each scene and focal length and aperture will work best with a different combination.
If you are using a telephoto, you will probably want as hard and as strong as you can get, at wide angles, you might want a softer, or medium filter a bit less strong. Lots of variables.
Personally, I feel somewhat unprepared with only my soft 2-stop and 3-stop reverse (hard with a 1-stop fade going up). You may want more types.
Just dont rule out hard because a computer program doesn't make it look right haha.