My dad has passed away

Hi all,

My dad passed away before yesterday to our time, Monday morning around 5am, it was a big shock and loss to us[me and family], but i will pray for him.

Now i am look like a lost, I have to be a man and i will have maybe most of his belongs and wealth, so i don't know what i will do in my life, i have to take care of my family, i feel somehow my life will be changed to better but we will miss him and i hope i can be a good person as he was hoping from me and to be successful, and i don't know how can i get rid of the gear collecting lust/addiction, but what you will do if you have the wealth, will you wait to start a business and then later buy whatever or make a percent for buying? I am sure many members here will say i have too much and no more and i hope not others will tell me the opposite and tell me to guy and buy the entire gear in market, but i want to have some kind of balance, i have what i need but i WANTING is endless.

I hope this loss will be a new life/test for me to change my life system a bit and to be more responsible person and can manage myself in better way to take care of my family and myself and enjoy life and to make my dad to feel proud of me even he didn't help me to buy more gear or to study abroad, just only to be as he wants/thinks even i can't do it or don't want to at all.

Tareq

I'm sorry for your lose Tareq. Losing a parent is almost never easy and it sounds like you are going through a great deal of emotion right now. I'm not sure exactly what you are asking but I know from dealing with a lot of people in times similar to yours the one thing I tell all of them is not to make any decisions right now. Let the reality of the moment settle in and allow yourself to experience the grief of your father's passing. It isn't necessarily comfortable or nice but it is necessary.
The best way for you to remember your father is to allow yourself to remember him. The things you loved about him as well as the things that drove you crazy. In time you will be more able to make decisions that will honor his memory while at the same time becoming the man that both you and he want you to become.
I will pray for you and your family in this difficult time.

I'm sorry for your loss, Tareq. Having very suddenly lost my father in law recently and going through this with the family, I know it's painful. As the previous poster said, I'd recommend not making any decisions along the lines of purchases, sales, etc for a little while yet.

Take the time to grieve and help/allow your family to do so, as well. And deal with immediate arrangements that need to be made; memorial services if any, that sort of thing.

Once all of that is done with, then you can have a clearer head to make more informed decisions; but anything made in the fog of grief and shock of such a sudden loss is likely to not be the best decision.

I really do feel for you and your family, and I hope you can all come together as a family to deal with it all

Tareq,

I am sorry for your loss. Your Father raised a good Son, in you. We know that our body will not live forever, but the things that your Father has taught you will be passed to your daughters and forever down the line.

Most women do not understand the bond between Men and their Fathers. It gets strained when we are in our teens, and strenghtioned as we mature and understand where our Fathers feet have been.

The most important thing you can do is keep your Father's photos close by. And ask him in your heart to help you make good decisions. As you know, it's not about the gear, but about the images you create with it.

Don't worry about wanting more and more gear. Your Father understood, as all Fathers do that creative minds need the very best paints and brushes to bring forth the art inside.

I hope that God eases the pain quickly and fills you with the joy that remembering your Father will soon bring.

Thank you very much all.

I will do my best, and i hope to be strong now as i was weak last years until now because i was always thinking about money and my dad didn't help me, so i hope not to feel guilty about it and to feel that i can be a good person and manage the money he left and not go crazy or waste his money on something will destroy my or family, I am like reach crossing ways, and i feel that my family or even relatives and friends will look at me what i will do after my dad as really i didn't do anything worthy in my life until now rather than buy more gear and spend time on the net and do something else and not care about my job.

Tareq,

Just take it easy, like your other friends have said, don't make quick decisions just now. You really do have lots to do now. But when the time is right, create images with your Father in mind. Use your creativity to show how you feel. Maybe create a slide show, dedicated to and honoring your Dad.

Sorry about your father. I'm sure your heart will be heavy for some time. No doubt you will be able to step in and fill his shoes, making sure the family is taken care of. Remember the good that he has taught you and cherish the memories of your time together. Be well my friend!

LBaldwin wrote in post #11530759
Tareq,

I am sorry for your loss. Your Father raised a good Son, in you. We know that our body will not live forever, but the things that your Father has taught you will be passed to your daughters and forever down the line.

Most women do not understand the bond between Men and their Fathers. It gets strained when we are in our teens, and strenghtioned as we mature and understand where our Fathers feet have been.

The most important thing you can do is keep your Father's photos close by. And ask him in your heart to help you make good decisions. As you know, it's not about the gear, but about the images you create with it.

Don't worry about wanting more and more gear. Your Father understood, as all Fathers do that creative minds need the very best paints and brushes to bring forth the art inside.

I hope that God eases the pain quickly and fills you with the joy that remembering your Father will soon bring.

In fact my dad was always blaming me to buy gear even little, and he was not happy of me that i don't care about my job [civil engineering] and just care about the photography and spent long time the net and didn't save money for future or business, so i feel like a guilty inside me now that he didn't help me with what he has but then he wanted me to be a different person but i couldn't, so i feel he dead before i change and be a successful man, i was really so depressed with him as he didn't help me to start my own business when i don't have enough money and he has more than enough, so that i didn't care much about my job and i just use photography to enjoy life and ignoring most of his advises, and now i feel that i will be different now because i will get what i was wanting before when he was alive, i will not decide anything now yet, but all what i want to say is all what i will decide now will be something i couldn't do it when he was alive, so i am not sure if my think was bad or i have to forget that now and look forward to be what i want to be and do my best to make my life and my family life better, it will be a big duty now because i have 2 families now, my mom and sister as first family, and my wife + 2 daughters as second family but main, i am the only man in the family, so i feel sad that i was not ready and my dad didn't make me to be ready to be a responsible man and to help myself without his help.

My Friend Tareq,

Perhaps our forum is not the best place to discuss this. Sometimes Fathers can be tough on you, to MAKE you fight back. Maybe he just wanted you to show him that you really were serious about your photography, and that you were not willing to give it up. He was testing you. It is his job as a good Father, mine has done it too. Of course we want you to take care of your family first. Family should always come first. You feel the weight of that responsibility. Do the very best with the gear you have, wear it out. Use it until it breaks and cannot be fixed. But the measure of a Man, often comes from their Father, and they are never truly 100% pleased.

Many of us have "jobs" that we go to every day that do not please our souls. But they take care of your family's needs. The photography is for you. Any really bad day taking pictures is 100x times better than the very best day at your regular job. Such is life. Count your blessings. There are those that have no job, no education, no hope. I hope that time heals your pain, no one is really ready to lose a loved one. Take your Fathers council, and try to find middle ground.

Thank you very much, Les Baldwin.

I hope i can be stronger now and can manage my family and myself lives and do what is best to us all, and if i can become successful in something else rather than my current job where my dad didn't see it [or die before he can see it in the future] it will be worth to my opinion than staying in my current job until i retired or they fire me without any successful.

I know maybe this forum is not the right place, but i use this forums my home and people can help me or guide me or give me advises/opinions/sugge​stions/...etc in whatever it is not just photography, and i hope now i can be more happy in life to do photography better way than when i was so depressed/upset feed up in my life, and in fact maybe my post of this thread is maybe "Maybe" and maybe is that i want to start a business or a project in photography and i need assistants if some are here.

Sorry for your loss tareg. i dont need to re write the great advise from the above comments. Just keep your head up and remember that you got others depending on your decisions.

Tareq..First I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you prayers for you and all of your family. I am sure there is much pain and the feeling of loss and the feeling of being lost. I am sure if you go within yourself and listen to your heart, you will hear your father. Let go of the feelings of guilt as they will only dull your mind and blur your vision.

I have often seen your posts talking about some of the problems you felt with your father. I believe that he was trying to help you see what is really important in this life .... Love, family and service.
Take this time to reflect on the future ... And your family

Blessings to you and yours

Tareq, I'm very sorry to hear about your father. It's never easy to lose a loved one -- I lost both my parents and my brother over the last 10 years, so I can feel the empathy my friend. And to lose someone suddenly is so baffling...

And yes, a loss can lead up to freshly scrutinize our own lives, eveluate and maybe make some changes...take your time to heal and in time your vision will be renewed...

And, I'm glad that you can be part of this community. There are caring people here and enough of us who have shared this painful experience that we can be "there" for you in very real ways.

Keep us posted, my friend.

Thanks!

I think what i feel about now is kind of a complex feelings inside me, i feel sad to lose my dad and that i didn't fulfill his wishes, but i also feel happy that i become free and can do whatever i want, i think i am not worry about the next life coming without him, but i don't want to feel guilty that i was hoping to be free without him, now that i am free and i don't need his help, what i will do as i will have what was missing with him alive?

I will not talk about my dad anymore, whatever he was, good or bad, now i have to continue my life, whether he was good at me at the end of life or he wasn't a supportive i will not buried myself any longer, i hope now i can be more positive helpful successful guy than before weaker, i will remember him forever and will miss him a lot, but i will be so much happy to remember him if i get a successful better life after him so i will always pray and tell him in my heart that you grower a son who can take care of himself alone, not to feel sad that he left me without anything and i couldn't help myself and my family.

My condolences to you, Tareq. I'm glad that you are looking to be more positive, but make sure you are living life for yourself and your family, and not to fulfill someone else's dreams.

It took me 29 years to realize that.

My dad has been pushing me to be a medical doctor even before I was born, but after 20 years of sub-par grades, yearly rejection letters to medical schools, and my unrelenting desire to read and learn about photography 24/7, I said screw it. I'm starting my photography business full-time and I'm not looking back. He still pushes me to be a doctor today, but I have to keep politely saying no.

Anyway, my advice to you, if you're really concerned about how you're going to handle the money, is to hire a financial advisor. It'll cost money initially, but it's worth the investment. Do you have a budget? Get Quicken and have someone in the family help you with it. Delegate responsibilities so you're not completely overwhelmed. I can't stress how important it is! As they say, "feed someone fish, and they'll live for a day, teach them to fish and they'll live for a lifetime." At least, I think that's how it goes, but you get the point. Basically, make sure you know where money is coming in and coming out.

Also, don't feel guilty about your newfound freedom. Make the best of it.