IANAL, especially a tax lawyer, but here's my take...
Think tax avoidance versus evasion. The IRS, from my understanding, is fine with tax avoidance. Taking legitimate deductions is fine. As long as you try in good faith to stay within the law, that's okay. If you take a deduction in good faith and it isn't legitimate, you may need to pay back taxes and late penalties, but probably won't pay fines. Tax evasion is deliberately breaking the tax laws, and the IRS doesn't respond well to that. Back taxes, late penalties, fines, and even prison are all possibilities.
If you're taking a home office tax deduction, that raises an audit flag. Not too many people can legitimately take it. If you conduct business that is typical of someone with a home office and are creating revenue and paying taxes consistent with someone having a home office, your likelihood of audit is lower. In summary, if you take the tax deduction, you'd better fit the profile of someone legitimately taking this deduction.
If you are audited and someone comes to your home to see if you really have a home office eligible for the tax deduction, they're going to see how it looks. For today, if that room is the only room with a computer and you've got a spouse and kids, the likelihood of the agent believing you're using the room just for work is nil. They'll know that the room is used for personal activities as well as business activities. That's borderline tax evasion. If however it looks like a room that otherwise has nothing functional to do with the home and could otherwise be a business office in some other physical location such as an office building, you're probably just fine.
Here's a bit of a subtlety for you. Your home office should not contain any personal business. It is not where you should be paying your personal bills or storing important personal papers. Those things should be done or stored elsewhere in your home. While you might not have a personal office in your home, you should be able to show that you keep those things and activities separate from and outside of your home office.
For instance, if you were to use your living room as a sometimes portrait studio and the remainder of the time as a living room, you can't take the tax deduction of that room being a home office. If however you have a room used exclusively as a portrait studio, that's eligible for the tax deduction.
In closing, how could they tell if you used your home office to do Facebook at night or during breaks? I don't think they care. What they care about is whether you need to use that room for personal activities or not. Even if you are single, if it's the only room with a computer and network connection, you're unlikely to get them to accept that room as a tax deductible home office. If on the other hand you have a broadband home network connection in the main part of your home and a business broadband connection to your home office, and your home office is otherwise a separate entity from the rest of your home, all other things being equal you could spend all night in your home office doing Facebook, PotN, and anything else not work related. It would be as if you went out to go to your office down on Main Street or 5th Avenue and spent the night playing on the 'Net.
Does that make sense?